Four ways to care for your inner writer, no candles needed
Like other kinds of art, writing asks us to transform our feelings, experiences, and ideas—abstractions that only exist in our mind—into a concrete form that can be experienced by others. That is difficult and important work!
How can we make sure to take care of ourselves so that we can come to our writing energized and focused?
1. Know yourself; and work with yourself, not against yourself
- If you’re a night owl, make time in your evenings to write—don’t force yourself to write at 6 a.m.
- If you’re an extrovert, prioritize finding a writing community.
- If you’re feeling stuck in your project, reach out for help to a writer friend, an editor, or a writing coach.
- If you don’t work well under pressure, don’t try to use deadlines to motivate yourself.
- If you spend your kid’s soccer practice waiting in the car, make sure you have a laptop or notebook with you.
- If you know that writing at the kitchen table is too distracting, write in your bedroom instead.
Being kind to yourself by taking your preferences, personality, and lifestyle into account will help you find more quality writing time and spend more time writing.
2. Challenge negative self-talk
Everyone deals with it: that voice in your head telling you that writing shouldn’t be this difficult, that you’ll never write anything worth reading, or that the scene you’re writing is an irredeemable mess (even though you could see its progress just yesterday!). Here are some tips for dealing with it:
- Recognize the voice. When you find yourself comparing yourself to another writer or criticizing your work, take a moment to acknowledge that as your negative self-talk.
- Remind yourself: That voice is trying to protect you, but it’s working with bad information and distorted thinking patterns. It does not represent reality.
- Challenge the thought. Is it based on facts or emotions? For example, “Right now I feel like I must be the only one who finds writing difficult, but I hear other writers mention that they struggle too.”
- Reframe the thought. For example, “Writing is sometimes difficult, and it’s also worth doing. Two things can be true.”
- Banish the voice. Tell it: “I don’t know who hurt you, and I pray you get the healing you need. But you are not welcome here. You are not helpful, and I respect myself too much to let you stick around.”
3. Know why you want to write and remind yourself of it often
When I’ve wanted to do something for a long time and I don’t regularly remind myself why I want to do it, I start to think of it as something I “should” do. Does this feel familiar to anyone? The problem with “should” is that there’s an implicit admission of failure built into it: “I should do XYZ, [but I don’t]…” That leads to shame and demotivation, which isn’t helpful.
The flip side of “should” is “want” or “get.” I want to write! I get to write! And the gold standard is setting your intention.
When you remind yourself that your intention is to write so that Muslim kids can have entire shelves of relevant and inspiring books or that you intention is to bring your ideas combining psychology and the Prophetic example to a whole new audience, you not only declare your intention to Allah but you also get to visualize your dream and feel inspired and motivated to take action.
4. Keep reading
Reading is what brought you to writing, so if you find yourself not regularly reading, know that you’ve not only lost the greatest joy in your process but have also lost the path.
A writer who doesn’t read is like a pro athlete who doesn’t watch their sport or a chef who doesn’t like food. Would you let a surgeon who has never seen an appendectomy done perform one on you?
Reading new turns of phrase and getting lost in someone else’s prose is growing your writer muscles even as you enjoy one of your favorite activities.
Hopefully these self-care tips can help you protect your time and energy, refill your creativity well, and live your best writing life.
Jessica Hassan, Associate Editor at Daybreak Press